trainthief:

my coworker today was like “i bet you dont know this song” and put on Don’t Go Breaking My Heart. And I was like “yeah, of course I do, it’s Elton John” and he was like “who?” and I said “Elton John. He wrote this” and he was like “oh I don’t know about that, it’s just in the Chicken Little movie” 

(via judgejudyofficial)

zdartstuff:

blackmoonbabe:

zsnes:

snarthurt:

frogmunist:

I’m sure this has been asked before but would vampires drink period blood, and more importantly would the clumps just be a bonus for them?

ever had bubble tea?

im going to hurt all of you im going to hit both of you with a heavy rock

it’s pretty much asking if the vampire likes pulp

(via dickpuncher420)

vodouist:

a little known fact

(via an-hedon-ia)

cxnstellati0ns:

dankmemeuniversity:

man this is too relatable

(via judgejudyofficial)

madonees:

madonees:

Disgusting. please act like a human

(via freelyironic)

earthdad:

when you just send her cute memes because you don’t know how else to express your feelings towards her

(via indigostarchild)

megapope:

nodiggityok:

megapope:

nodiggityok:

megapope:

“can’t shake the devil’s hand and say you’re only kidding” is the most concise and powerful dismissal of people who are “jokingly” racist and i can’t believe it’s from a They Might Be Giants song

and? just because this says that doesn’t make it true.

i laugh at jokes about white people and women and myself more than anything else. so what if i laugh at jokes about other people occasionally? come on there are bigger problems in the world than the occasional joke. besides none of you even really believe that satan controls this earth or much less real. 

sorry what was that last bit again

?

that last bit about satan controlling the earth. what was that about

(via knife-ear)

yourfavisawarcriminal:

Phineas and Ferb are war criminals!

(via thecatranimal)

fairycosmos:

sharpay was right: this is not what i want. this is not what i planned. and i just gotta say. i Do Not understand

(via griffinmcelroyspisskink)

mhevet:

mhevet:

mhevet:

small-chekov:

if ur hands are cold it’s just ur ghost boyfriend holding ur hand

my f

my feet are cold

(via thebestoftumbling)

violetfin-hskin:

kaitobromota:

imagine going through your tumblr experience only knowing komaeda as the fingers in his ass guy. imagine not knowing all the canon things komaeda as done. dude blew up his school to prevent a test from happening. tried to shoot a god. played russian roulette with 5 bullets. threatened to completely disintegrate an entire island. babysat a bunch of maniac kids for basically no reason. cut off his arm. is an absolute gay disaster

THE FINGERS IN HIS ASS GUY DID WHAT

(via japhers)

trashboat:

trashboat:

trashboat:

moment of genuine kinship with the man who noticed me applying lip chap while bagging my groceries as he took out his lip chap and applied as he walked by

truly the most genuine moment of compassion with a strange man has been when he met my eyes and motioned his lip chap in a cheers motion. forever my brother in arms

think i might be lonely

(via andromedasea)

lmaonade:

xtec:

lmaonade:

going clown spotting 

have you checked the mirror

well if you want me to die you can just say so

(via judgejudyofficial)