small time wizard, big time girlblogger

psychotickenesis:

Hi welcome to mcdonalds Do you waive your right to a fair trial

(via tiefling-queer)

sprouttheambassador:

sprouttheambassador:

running errands like kurt vonnegut

⬆️ like so

(via tiefling-queer)

tomb-of-madeline:

an imp with a slug friend for imp thursday

(via sabertoothwalrus)

adriftinhilbertspace:

jakemorph:

there used to be a time where if you asked an american for “a blowie” they wouldn’t give a fuck because they found your australian accent so irresistable. but now they have to question fucking everything. “why is a blowjob called a blowie”. “why is a picture of yourself called a selfie”. “why is a barbecue called a barbie” like these arent the most dumb fucking questions imaginable. VAMOOSE

today i learned‼️

(via chimerusprime)

frightnight-1985:

officialmacgyver:

frightnight-1985:

my work charger stopped working i can’t believe it who could have seen it coming

Fam….that’s not good. Lol.

the first rule of electrical safety is to have fun and be yourself

(via christs-cock)

tricotbf:

tricotbf:

they should put cum in snickers

You see a dialogue prompt appear in front of you.

A. they already do, that’s what the dick vein is for

B. hey op what the FUCK does this mean

C. this is actually kind of a fucked up joke to make around halloween because kids are going to be eating snickers soon so you’re basically advocating for forced consumption of cum by minors

D. snickers should cum in your mouth and call you a good boy

(via dickpuncher420)

sarakipin:

💒🔔🌙✨🕊️

(via atuans)

kerink:

damazcuz:

kerink:

damazcuz:

kerink:

damazcuz:

and not a single good one let’s go boys mediocre nation!

congrats on your first good one! (:

hey uh. theres a beast on your post.

a breast? 🥵 men’s? 🥵🥵

back down to zero good posts ):

(via christs-cock)

ectorotica:

(via christs-cock)

your-fave-says-lgbtq-rights:

Lewis the pumpkin from Target and the 12ft skeleton from Home Depot say “LGBTQ+ rights!“

(via bebidocrimes)

fillianore:

kill them with kindness? wrong, eldritch blast

(via 8ball-wizard)

lakevida:

pretended to stop caring about the earring i lost so i would find it again and it worked so i think i’m ready to do spells and shit full time. i bet i’m even ready to open the portal

(via 8ball-wizard)

aer-quewea:

(via tiefling-queer)